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MaskAutopilot driving me
It's not me, I can't even see
I'm spewing emotion and bleeding poetry
It'd be killing me
But we're way beyond that now
The mask is taking over me
Becoming me, I can't breathe
I'm caging emotion and killing poetry
It'd be killing me
But nothing can kill me now
Maybe you'll regret it when you find
The real me gone
And this left behind
The invisible girl could take no more
It hid her away
It bolted the door
Her heart was too tender
Her emotions too raw
Because no one really knew her
No one really saw
And the pain was driving her out of her head
She had two choices
Become the monster
Or wind up dead
So remember this story when you one day see
That coldness has replaced the warmth in me
That my eyes are empty
My laughter hollow
I was gentle once
But this world swallows gentle up like a whore.
The Invisible GirlThe invisble girl could never be seen
No matter how hard she tried
The invisble girl would go home alone
And in the silence of the night
She would cry
And no one ever held her
Because they couldn't see her there
And no one knew she existed
So they didn't know to care
The invisible girl grew older and colder
Her tear ducts shriveled away
For every girl must one day grow up
And then grow old one day
Still no one ever held her
But she slowly learned not to care
And if you look very hard you'll almost see her
But she isn't really there
For the invisible girl
Is invisible no more
But she isn't real
She's just a ghost
ImaginaryI can't take my eyes off you
And you're blinding me
I can't breathe without you
And it's killing me
I'm dying being tied to you
But I'd die if you set me free
This imaginary love
Will be the death of me
It's like I'm living with a ghost
Something only I can see
Pretending you are here
And that you give a damn
Is destroying all I have
It's changing who I am
I can't get my mind off you
It drives me crazy
I can't live without you
But you don't need me
I'm dying just to be with you
But you never even see me
Maybe I'm imaginary too.
Insomniac5:00am and I can't sleep
Someone has to keep
These ghosts company
So again I wait for daylight
Seems I belong to the night
Just the music and blank pages
So spare me a thought
As you drift off to dreams
Cozy in your bed
While I'm here with ragged seams;
Don't worry your slow-sinking
Sleep enveloped mind
About how I've ended up here
And if I'll be alright
It's how I've always been
It's what I've always done
I'll take the moon
You can have the sun.
WordsThese words tumble inside my head
Dancing dangerously close to the tip of my tongue
Demanding not just voice but action
To become more than words
Something real, something true
So I shut my mouth and shut my eyes
Growing to despise these words
And the inevitable pain they signify
No choice is still a choice
But I have no choice at all
No voice at all
Or rather, a voice with false words
To mask the truth
That the real words stay silent
Because they mean nothing to you
The ButterfliesThe butterflies always die in my ribcage
Because the air keeps getting knocked out of me
And my heart isn't broken but it's breaking
Every time my eyes see, my lips speak,
My mind thinks of this dream
This dream like black velvet in summer
Beautiful and yet uncomfortable
It keeps the air from reaching me.
It holds me in and I can't get free
But oh how exquisite the torture is.
The sleeplessness, the restlessness
The slow suffocation of
A soul living for a dying ember
Of something that never could be.
wilting flowersShe only ever loved the wilting flowers
She said their color was more beautiful
Their fragrance sweeter
Because they only had so long left to bloom
And she mourned them terribly
When they had gone
TonightTonight I'm feeling old and broken
Like I'm underwater and love is a voice that seems so far away
Gone is the romantic with a stomach full of tiny fluttering wings
Replaced with this cynic with a damaged heart.
The price of believing became too high
When it took all I had the first time to survive.
So here I sit, music and words and the moments before dawn
And these will be my companions so I will never be alone.
PoetryThe poetry has been bled from me
For too long
Writing circles around the facts
Pretty words to hide the ugly truth
So that now
As revelations are made
And old facades come tumbling down
I have no more poems inside
Stark, bare, uncomfortable
Living poetry instead of writing it
My words used now
To tell my story
So I suppose poetry will have to wait.
To My SisterYou dress like a Disney Princess,
And play with pretty dolls;
Your laughter warms our hearts,
Your smile lifts our souls.
You stumble when you walk,
And you can’t say my name;
You dance to invisible music,
Everyone says we’re the same.
You have curly blonde hair,
And big brown eyes;
A smiling flower of a face,
And chubby baby thighs.
You will grow to be big,
And you will change;
You’ll learn the world’s scary,
As much as it is strange.
If I could give you one tip,
And know that you’d follow it,
It’d be: be who you are,
Live like there’s no tomorrow.
Don’t strive for beauty,
Don’t live for lies;
Find beauty in living and
Keep putting beauty into
Other people’s lives.
happy family.and it would make no difference
if these walls could
because even they know when
to keep quiet.
Prodigal's SearchProdigal's Search
Tormented in school, berated at home
A constant need to live this life alone
I finished school to go abroad
My heart weighed with a heavy load
And every step I took then
Echoed with my mother's voice
An empty heart and a sad soul
Need time to recover and become whole
I needed to live among caring men
So I would not relive that life again
But still I heard that woman's voice
I wandered far and away back then
Vowing never to return home again
Haunted and hounded by my mother's ghost
Peace is desired but it has a heavy cost
Only now at the side of one I love
Who heals and soothes with a velvet glove
Does that voice soften and sound like the wind
And drift away like my dreams from my mind
And in the end I realized
That only my father and my sister cared
The former supported me till now more than I knew
The latter supports me at every thing I do
And I no longer hear that awful voice
There real.You say they are myths?
Well I've seen the truth.
It's amazing how hurt, and lies can get you.
How your mind is like a clock.
A ticking time bomb perhaps.
Sanity is waiting.
Waiting just to be snapped.
You say you don't fear the woods.
There's nothing to be afraid.
The wind feels good across your face.
Well darling, you don't know what game you've started to play.
These stories are all fake you say?
Nothing to fear.
But now you have traveld to the woods.
Fear, the monsters are near.
You say you will play the game.
The game that you have won.
Your not afraid to test your fate.
Say it is all just good fun.
Well don't say okay, he will kill you now wait and see.
For you've met with a terrible fate haven't you?
Or you say you don't sleep.
You just don't feel we'll.
but here comes the prince.
The prince of hell.
A slick of the blade will
post-crisiswell, now it's all over and gone
memories linger, and pain
triumphs lost to tear-stains
the worst part is you'll never know why
though you'll try to figure it out, put it to rest
your head tells you to give up,
but your heart won't let go.
Sleep, Little ChildHush, little child,
Close your weary eyes
And rest well
For you are in good hands.
You need not worry what tomorrow brings,
The sun will bring a new day for you,
Welcoming you into this world,
A brand new life awaits just for you.
And do you know what else, little child?
You've got your whole life ahead of you,
Whether that path is a long or short one
Rough or simple
You will make it and if you should
If you should make mistakes
Feel pain or sorrow,
You will grow stronger
And braver someday.
So don’t be scared, little child,
The world is at your finger tips
And when it comes closer
Catch it in your little hands
And hold it close to your heart
Because one day you will be able to see
The love it holds inside for you.
Oh, little child
You don’t even know
How lucky you are to be here,
And maybe you’ll never know,
You might not know for a very long time
You might never know throughout your whole life.
Most people don’t,
And that’s okay
Because you a
vulture of the nighti woke up to the sound
walking the stairs
you're coming my way and
tears start streaming down my face
i try to hide between the sheets, but i know i will be seen
and you will look at me.
lying about pregnancy is
(i'm sorry you were never born)
The Sister from HeavenWhat can I say that can possibly do justice to how incredible you are?!
Macie, you give me so much hope and happiness!
As I write these words I can't help but feel honored to know you
The words escape me that can properly express what you mean to me
You fill my heart with such joy that is so rare to find sometimes.
RPing with you is one of the few things I look forward to most when I go to the library.
Your art is so beautiful!
Your stories are amazing!
Oh, What I wouldn't give to see you in person and thank you for everything!
But the truth is, Macie....
I can never thank you enogh!
I've done nothing compared to all you've done for me, Sis!
You've told me lately to look to the future.
And honestly, the future seems so far away.
All I can focus on is the present
and living from day to day.
I feel like I have no future.
Like I have nothing to shoot for.
My future lies in the love of my friends
Including the most incredible sister!
Macie, U will forever
FrednyToday it has been five years since you died
And I have missed you every day
Of my miserable life
Since I was ten
And mum called me to tell me you had gone
In the middle of Easter
I was sick when I went to your funeral
“Please, can’t we go home, mum, please”
Because it was horrible
Meeting with family members I never knew
Or never met again
Because you weren't there and all they did
Was eat cheesecake
And make stupid small talk
I remember when we buried your ashes
It was only me and mum and my aunt and my cousin
And the memory is etched into my mind
Because I have barely
Visited your grave
And that’s a disgrace
Because I should visit every day
But I don’t.
LegacyI guess I'll never understand
The way you lived your life
You neglected the role of mother
In favour of being a wife
And left behind this legacy
Of secrets,anger and pain
And I've tried to understand
But my attempts have been in vain
See, I've never been a mother
But I'd do it differently, I'm sure
I'd slice my own wrists and tear out my veins
Before I let my children hurt
And I'd never let some monster
Steal their innocence away
You said "Half a loaf is better than none"
But I'd take none over that any day
Because the repercussions of your actions
Didn't stop at just your kids
The daughter of your daughter
Has suffered for what he did
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Bluefley has a gallery filled with artwork that whisks you off in to a Sci-fi daydream, and keeps you captivated for hours. Marc has been a member of our community for over a decade and has achieved nothing but success with his astounding commitment to interacting with the community, sharing a prolific amount of video tutorials and generally being an all round rockstar deviant. It is no joke that we are absolutely delighted to award the Deviousness Award for April 2014 to ... Read More