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MaskAutopilot driving me
It's not me, I can't even see
I'm spewing emotion and bleeding poetry
It'd be killing me
But we're way beyond that now
The mask is taking over me
Becoming me, I can't breathe
I'm caging emotion and killing poetry
It'd be killing me
But nothing can kill me now
Maybe you'll regret it when you find
The real me gone
And this left behind
The invisible girl could take no more
It hid her away
It bolted the door
Her heart was too tender
Her emotions too raw
Because no one really knew her
No one really saw
And the pain was driving her out of her head
She had two choices
Become the monster
Or wind up dead
So remember this story when you one day see
That coldness has replaced the warmth in me
That my eyes are empty
My laughter hollow
I was gentle once
But this world swallows gentle up like a whore.
The Invisible GirlThe invisble girl could never be seen
No matter how hard she tried
The invisble girl would go home alone
And in the silence of the night
She would cry
And no one ever held her
Because they couldn't see her there
And no one knew she existed
So they didn't know to care
The invisible girl grew older and colder
Her tear ducts shriveled away
For every girl must one day grow up
And then grow old one day
Still no one ever held her
But she slowly learned not to care
And if you look very hard you'll almost see her
But she isn't really there
For the invisible girl
Is invisible no more
But she isn't real
She's just a ghost
ImaginaryI can't take my eyes off you
And you're blinding me
I can't breathe without you
And it's killing me
I'm dying being tied to you
But I'd die if you set me free
This imaginary love
Will be the death of me
It's like I'm living with a ghost
Something only I can see
Pretending you are here
And that you give a damn
Is destroying all I have
It's changing who I am
I can't get my mind off you
It drives me crazy
I can't live without you
But you don't need me
I'm dying just to be with you
But you never even see me
Maybe I'm imaginary too.
Insomniac5:00am and I can't sleep
Someone has to keep
These ghosts company
So again I wait for daylight
Seems I belong to the night
Just the music and blank pages
So spare me a thought
As you drift off to dreams
Cozy in your bed
While I'm here with ragged seams;
Don't worry your slow-sinking
Sleep enveloped mind
About how I've ended up here
And if I'll be alright
It's how I've always been
It's what I've always done
I'll take the moon
You can have the sun.
WordsThese words tumble inside my head
Dancing dangerously close to the tip of my tongue
Demanding not just voice but action
To become more than words
Something real, something true
So I shut my mouth and shut my eyes
Growing to despise these words
And the inevitable pain they signify
No choice is still a choice
But I have no choice at all
No voice at all
Or rather, a voice with false words
To mask the truth
That the real words stay silent
Because they mean nothing to you
The ButterfliesThe butterflies always die in my ribcage
Because the air keeps getting knocked out of me
And my heart isn't broken but it's breaking
Every time my eyes see, my lips speak,
My mind thinks of this dream
This dream like black velvet in summer
Beautiful and yet uncomfortable
It keeps the air from reaching me.
It holds me in and I can't get free
But oh how exquisite the torture is.
The sleeplessness, the restlessness
The slow suffocation of
A soul living for a dying ember
Of something that never could be.
wilting flowersShe only ever loved the wilting flowers
She said their color was more beautiful
Their fragrance sweeter
Because they only had so long left to bloom
And she mourned them terribly
When they had gone
TonightTonight I'm feeling old and broken
Like I'm underwater and love is a voice that seems so far away
Gone is the romantic with a stomach full of tiny fluttering wings
Replaced with this cynic with a damaged heart.
The price of believing became too high
When it took all I had the first time to survive.
So here I sit, music and words and the moments before dawn
And these will be my companions so I will never be alone.
PoetryThe poetry has been bled from me
For too long
Writing circles around the facts
Pretty words to hide the ugly truth
So that now
As revelations are made
And old facades come tumbling down
I have no more poems inside
Stark, bare, uncomfortable
Living poetry instead of writing it
My words used now
To tell my story
So I suppose poetry will have to wait.
mother did not hang the moonthe shallow craters
beneath her cheekbones yawn.
creamy round features glow,
basking in the light of her son.
ripe for the pickingJuice stained fingers clutch,
roll over pocked and pitted skin.
Pinch, twist, flick.
Leafy locks ruffled by tiny hands
which bruise the soft and supple skin
of he who has aged just enough.
vi.he lights candles in the night
not to keep his dark away,
but to burn away the scent of decay.
in the mornings he says hello with
skin & breath that still smell like tar.
VowsWhy is it always this way?
We maintain that we can contort ourselves
Into pearly oyster shells
Draped in pure white silk
Expecting the sky
To rain down its praises
All the while denying
Our limbs are twisted
Mangled by bonds of gold.
We come to this,
An inevitable destination
The clichéd conjunction of destitute facades.
Your sunshine is the only thing
That illuminates my grave.
Name: Stalfo Katzes
Age: 8.31 (18)
Blood Color: Olive
Sign: Leo minor/Little Lion
Strife Specibus: SlingshotKind
Modus Name: BackpackModus
How Modus Works: It holds up to 20 items, and if you try to put more in, it will send the last item flying
Lusus: A snow leopard
Dream Planet: Prospit
God Tier: Rouge of life
Land: Land of Snow and blood
· Land Consorts: small little mouses that run around.
Trolltag: snugIntrovert [SI]
· Height: 5.2
· Weight: 124 pounds
· Hair: short and a bit wavy
· Injuries: n/a
· Deformities: n/a
· Posture: slouching a lot
· Tattoos/Markings: n/a
You're Still HerePanic. Going for the check
You ready yourself
the Bump - discovery today
Ultrasound, that small screen filled
a cloud? The brain.
The meaning, anything.
Now they grow, a person.
You help them through
you won't let that hold them back.
They've grown now
but you should know;
walking at 2 - the frame
she's rid of it, but
you're still here.
Hard days. Easy days.
They come and go,
you're still there.
By her side.
You're Not My FamilyI was kept blissfully ignorant while
worlds tumbled down around me.
They have the audacity to keep things
from me until I find out when I'm
not supposed to.
He was arrested in the summer &
they kept up the facade that everything
was fine even as
his eyes grew dark & his fists clenched.
He was always ready for a fight.
They only thought to tell me after
he ran out of the house screaming
one sentence that shattered my fragile world.
Those words still play on repeat in my head & nightmares.
Brighter Days Bestowed Your CrownBrighter Days Bestowed Your Crown
by Tricia Pattinson
The shine of your hair
Reminds me of white sheets
Sparkling in the Sun's warmth
Licking the light delightedly
My smile stretches across
Pinned to a measure of time
Like the white sheets billowing
In a memory
Of the blinding Sun
That brightened your hair so white
No One Will Teach You How To LiveMy mother taught me
that someone else will always
take care of you and
is worth fighting for because
nothing is worth it.
She taught me that smoking,
snorting, and drinking was cool.
She taught me how to inhale.
My mom taught me that
grandparents raise children
and aunts are wise.
She taught me
the value of the dollar -
the life of your children.
My mother taught me,
most of all,
to not be like your mother.
My father taught me
that walking, no
was okay. He taught me how
to roll a joint, tie off my
arm and how to spoon the tar.
He taught me how to hunt
for the best dealer and
how to cheat on my wife;
he explained to me that
how you were in life meant nothing
to how you were in bed.
My dad taught me just
how long you could
sit in one spot
before everyone around you
My father taught me,
most of all,
that my life is lived
LegacyI guess I'll never understand
The way you lived your life
You neglected the role of mother
In favour of being a wife
And left behind this legacy
Of secrets,anger and pain
And I've tried to understand
But my attempts have been in vain
See, I've never been a mother
But I'd do it differently, I'm sure
I'd slice my own wrists and tear out my veins
Before I let my children hurt
And I'd never let some monster
Steal their innocence away
You said "Half a loaf is better than none"
But I'd take none over that any day
Because the repercussions of your actions
Didn't stop at just your kids
The daughter of your daughter
Has suffered for what he did
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