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MaskAutopilot driving me
It's not me, I can't even see
I'm spewing emotion and bleeding poetry
It'd be killing me
But we're way beyond that now
The mask is taking over me
Becoming me, I can't breathe
I'm caging emotion and killing poetry
It'd be killing me
But nothing can kill me now
Maybe you'll regret it when you find
The real me gone
And this left behind
The invisible girl could take no more
It hid her away
It bolted the door
Her heart was too tender
Her emotions too raw
Because no one really knew her
No one really saw
And the pain was driving her out of her head
She had two choices
Become the monster
Or wind up dead
So remember this story when you one day see
That coldness has replaced the warmth in me
That my eyes are empty
My laughter hollow
I was gentle once
But this world swallows gentle up like a whore.
The Invisible GirlThe invisble girl could never be seen
No matter how hard she tried
The invisble girl would go home alone
And in the silence of the night
She would cry
And no one ever held her
Because they couldn't see her there
And no one knew she existed
So they didn't know to care
The invisible girl grew older and colder
Her tear ducts shriveled away
For every girl must one day grow up
And then grow old one day
Still no one ever held her
But she slowly learned not to care
And if you look very hard you'll almost see her
But she isn't really there
For the invisible girl
Is invisible no more
But she isn't real
She's just a ghost
ImaginaryI can't take my eyes off you
And you're blinding me
I can't breathe without you
And it's killing me
I'm dying being tied to you
But I'd die if you set me free
This imaginary love
Will be the death of me
It's like I'm living with a ghost
Something only I can see
Pretending you are here
And that you give a damn
Is destroying all I have
It's changing who I am
I can't get my mind off you
It drives me crazy
I can't live without you
But you don't need me
I'm dying just to be with you
But you never even see me
Maybe I'm imaginary too.
Insomniac5:00am and I can't sleep
Someone has to keep
These ghosts company
So again I wait for daylight
Seems I belong to the night
Just the music and blank pages
So spare me a thought
As you drift off to dreams
Cozy in your bed
While I'm here with ragged seams;
Don't worry your slow-sinking
Sleep enveloped mind
About how I've ended up here
And if I'll be alright
It's how I've always been
It's what I've always done
I'll take the moon
You can have the sun.
WordsThese words tumble inside my head
Dancing dangerously close to the tip of my tongue
Demanding not just voice but action
To become more than words
Something real, something true
So I shut my mouth and shut my eyes
Growing to despise these words
And the inevitable pain they signify
No choice is still a choice
But I have no choice at all
No voice at all
Or rather, a voice with false words
To mask the truth
That the real words stay silent
Because they mean nothing to you
The ButterfliesThe butterflies always die in my ribcage
Because the air keeps getting knocked out of me
And my heart isn't broken but it's breaking
Every time my eyes see, my lips speak,
My mind thinks of this dream
This dream like black velvet in summer
Beautiful and yet uncomfortable
It keeps the air from reaching me.
It holds me in and I can't get free
But oh how exquisite the torture is.
The sleeplessness, the restlessness
The slow suffocation of
A soul living for a dying ember
Of something that never could be.
wilting flowersShe only ever loved the wilting flowers
She said their color was more beautiful
Their fragrance sweeter
Because they only had so long left to bloom
And she mourned them terribly
When they had gone
TonightTonight I'm feeling old and broken
Like I'm underwater and love is a voice that seems so far away
Gone is the romantic with a stomach full of tiny fluttering wings
Replaced with this cynic with a damaged heart.
The price of believing became too high
When it took all I had the first time to survive.
So here I sit, music and words and the moments before dawn
And these will be my companions so I will never be alone.
PoetryThe poetry has been bled from me
For too long
Writing circles around the facts
Pretty words to hide the ugly truth
So that now
As revelations are made
And old facades come tumbling down
I have no more poems inside
Stark, bare, uncomfortable
Living poetry instead of writing it
My words used now
To tell my story
So I suppose poetry will have to wait.
PostcardsYou send me
bits and pieces of your world
in too bright postcard pictures
with no return address
A world of plastic cutout landscapes
garish with artificial perfection
and scribbles of hurried platitudes
I wish you would come home
and stop holding who you are
at arms length
He's Not HeavyWhen the ship sails away
And the skies lose their color,
Who'll stop the rain from soaking our clothes?
Beetles will crawl
We may be small
But, they are even smaller
And in the end
It doesn't matter
Even when we're dead
You'll always be my little brother
Female dogNow I’m an old dog, I’ve seen this old block.
So if you’d like to know, Miss Jane and John Doe,
why the new kid is something,
really off her rock.
I’m an old dog lyin’ down on a hot summer day.
I ain’t nothing but a hound dog
crying all the time, I suppose
But when I was ‘round her,
you’ll see why I’ve hid my nose.
She’s a spunky little puppy,
a cute one at that
Though she’s a fluffy young puppy,
I could swear she’s a cat.
Now a female dog.
That’s what assholes call ladies
who speak out their minds
Now a female dog.
is what ladies
call a female asshole.
So she’s a lying little cat
and at the same time,
she’s a dirty rat.
While she’s a female dog, she’s as courteous as a hog.
I don’t call her a female dog for no reason.
She speaks her mind, alright
but it’s not anything worth believing.
No, what she says isn’t sense or a worth a hark
After all, anything that comes from
You are my light in a dark tunnelMany years ago I stumbled down a dark path,
I was all alone with only anger and sadness at my side.
I felt like I had no way out of the darkness,
And nowhere to go.
I was quickly giving up hope,
And slowly losing my soul.
It was at this time,
When I believe all hope was gone,
That you suddenly appeared in my life.
A gift straight from heaven,
In a world full of hell.
You were the only light,
In a tunnel of darkness.
You held your hand out to me,
Leading me out of the darkness.
You stood by my side,
Even when others shoved me away.
When I wanted to give up,
You refused to let me.
When I was sad,
You shared in my suffering,
When I needed a shoulder to lean on,
You were never far.
It was by your kindness,
That I was able to see the light in this world.
It is thanks to you that
That my hope came back
And my soul was saved.
Thanks to you
I couldn't do it...Mommy...
I'm sorry I couldn't make you happy...
I'm sorry I didn't make you proud...
I tried my best...
Isn't that all you wanted me to do...
I did the best I could for you...
I worked and worked and worked at getting good grades...
There still not good enough for you...
I ignored friends so there would be more time to study...
If they were real friends they wouldn't have Gone away right...
I did everything you said...
I made flash cards...
I quizzed myself...
I did all my home work...
I stayed up past bed time at night to study...
All I wanted was to make you proud...
But I'm sorry...
I guess my hardest still isn't good enough for you...
There isn't a place for me in this world.
Good old Page.She wanders onto my lap
she kisses my face.
She is my most valuable house mate.
Good old Page, her eyes of brown
she never has a frown.
She never has a yell
And she never runs and tells.
Shes my gorgeous girl and i love her
dearly without a doubt.
Without her the days would seem oh so dreary.
She sits there with patience, with love with
care and i love her,
shes always just sitting there.
The Tenants of Our HeartsInnocence personified.
Bubbling and laughing at nothing, anything, everything
Gurgling and swerving at imagined toys
How can anything be more precious?
Ever so dependent on the aid of others
Yet the secret of healing lies within them
For those matters of heart and mind
And trust and personality,
The Nature of humans at its purest
You never stop being one
No matter the distance
or the time
Or your manner
or your thoughts
At the core of your heart
All is as it was when you were a child
As, deep inside,
that is exactly what you are:
A bubbling, laughing, gurgling, swerving
LegacyI guess I'll never understand
The way you lived your life
You neglected the role of mother
In favour of being a wife
And left behind this legacy
Of secrets,anger and pain
And I've tried to understand
But my attempts have been in vain
See, I've never been a mother
But I'd do it differently, I'm sure
I'd slice my own wrists and tear out my veins
Before I let my children hurt
And I'd never let some monster
Steal their innocence away
You said "Half a loaf is better than none"
But I'd take none over that any day
Because the repercussions of your actions
Didn't stop at just your kids
The daughter of your daughter
Has suffered for what he did
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scheinbar is a much-loved and well-known deviant. Just one look at her gallery, filled with enchanting photography, will have you mesmerized. A deviant for over 7 years, Christiane can always be found posting inspirational features as well as regularly commenting on other deviations and encouraging and empowering her fellow deviants. We are inspired and insist that you too stop by and congratulate ... Read More